now I just wanna take a nap

It's April, the bulbs are bursting out of their winter-encased straight jackets, the sun is out, the birds are strutting around with self assured possessiveness---- The world is again waking up! This is good. But, I just wanna sleep.

Well, not all the time. Just when the boys are at school. So, just most of the time.

I did go for my jog this morning--- Joyce Carole Oates says herself it's good for the writing soul. Which I'm trying to take seriously, or at least, seriously enough that I've been trying to figure out some professional-looking forums to give and take some peer feedback. Alas, everything I'm looking at looks like it's being moderated by goth teenagers whose idea of a poetic prompt is a picture of cheesy looking tulips while italicized lyrics of a Three Dog Night song plays underneath.

I mean--- wow. Basically, all the poems people are posting seem to be stuck on love and suicide. I mean, really: sooo high school.

I don't know where people go to be taken seriously. I'm not just saying this as a woman, either, although, historically at least, I think we have the rawer end of the deal with all that. I mean, who decided that raising kids was a career? Getting paid, having a job--- that's a career. Having kids is not a job, not a hobby, it's your life. There's gotta be something else that you're good at, that you crave.

But, then, that's just my opinion, because I think women should be seen as more than just vessels of the next generation. However, before I let my mouth run off---- again---- back to the inspiration that is the internet, or, perhaps more accurately, where the lowest denomination gets its pats on the back.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being cranky. I read something earlier this week: 'we're all cowards at the starting line.' It's one of those lines that's supposed to be inspiring, in an intimidating sort of way, but it got me thinking, and now, when I wanna just lay down, it's what pops in my head. Maybe I just don't have the guts to truly write. I don't wanna know how much I can improve, because that only highlights how bad I am at it right now. Hmmm.....

Well, I have a few hours til I pick up the boys again. Better get to napping......